tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30714689.post5608952192003113572..comments2023-09-26T06:21:41.050-05:00Comments on Bucolic Scribblings: Punches thrown, summer break beginsJennhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283334035989645291noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30714689.post-12018441782754602632007-06-05T10:17:00.000-05:002007-06-05T10:17:00.000-05:00Pentha,Welcome! Rock and HardPlace, great "names!"...Pentha,<BR/>Welcome! Rock and HardPlace, great "names!" <BR/><BR/>Oh my, sounds like we have the same kids! Exactly the same kids. My aversion to the drug therapy is that I'm afraid if I tell the doctor up front I'm okay with drugs, then he/she won't be willing to try anything else and will just prescribe something from the get go. If we can get through this with behavior modification I'd rather do that. If drugs are necessary, eventually, I'll be okay knowing I tried all other avenues first. <BR/><BR/>That no-spanking policy is SO hard to stick with when they drive you to that edge of sanity.Jennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16283334035989645291noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30714689.post-60123945708718339462007-06-04T14:58:00.000-05:002007-06-04T14:58:00.000-05:00Oh, jeez. It sounds like you have been to my house...Oh, jeez. It sounds like you have been to my house. I am caught between my two boys: 5YO Rock and 9YO HardPlace. (I love your names for the kids, btw. I've always thought of mine as Rock and HardPlace, but I never thought to use those names in my blog.)<BR/><BR/>You have described Rock to a tee: I've gone to pick him up from preK and found the teacher standing outside waiting for me with him. He has been chastised for kicking, hitting, pushing, pulling, burping, exposing himself, screaming, screeching, etc.<BR/><BR/>Yet, give him an academic task, and he can be utterly focused when he wants to, so I also have a hard time with the ADD/ADHD thoughts. I am somewhat more willing to consider drug options: If he does have a chemical imbalance, how can I withhold treatment? <BR/><BR/>I've got a friend whose son was FINALLY diagnosed with Tourrette's Syndrome -- he is so GRATEFUL for the medication, because he couldn't control himself, and he really WANTED to. He knew he was different from the other kids, but he couldn't restrain his behavior.<BR/><BR/>I had a no-spanking policy as well; but Rock drove me to break it. Quite frankly, spanking is not very effective: It's a punishment, but not a deterrent. Unfortunately, I still resort to spanking when he has pushed my last button. I hate that I break, but I do the best I can. <BR/><BR/>ugh ugh ugh. It's so stressful. We want our children to have smooth lives, to grow up happy and well-adjusted. But there really is no "way" to do that. It's so much harder than we ever imagined it could be.<BR/><BR/>I didn't mean to write a novel; I found you through a comment on Sandy's blog... and I bookmarked you. "I'll be back."Aliciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11566205581092404455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30714689.post-44779304011334874022007-05-31T11:23:00.000-05:002007-05-31T11:23:00.000-05:00Thank you, everyone. It's a pretty crappy feeling ...Thank you, everyone. It's a pretty crappy feeling when you're not liking your kid so much...it's a bit of a comfort to know I'm not the only one!<BR/><BR/>Kim...when I talk to her about it, she KNOWS the rules, she knows what she's supposed to do when she's feeling angry or hurt by someone. She has all the right answers, she just has a really hard time implementing the correct responses and she's really, really hard on herself when she has "bad behavior." She's very much an "act now, think about it later" kind of kid. So far, my experience with this school hasn't been a great one. If first grade doesn't go much better, we are going to have to start looking into private school options.<BR/><BR/>Nancy...thank you for the suggestion! Breese is very close to us and one of my friends is a labor/delivery nurse there. <BR/><BR/>Anonymous...thank you for the link...very interesting and definitely an avenue to consider if the therapy/counseling fails. I certainly don't want to drug my kid unless its the very, very last option in the book.Jennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16283334035989645291noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30714689.post-46296823753136831982007-05-30T18:09:00.000-05:002007-05-30T18:09:00.000-05:00I think the hospital in Breese has a therapist tha...I think the hospital in Breese has a therapist that sees children. Not all that close to you, but closer than C-dale! Her name is Lucy.<BR/><BR/>My only other thought is to discuss it with Unruly during a calm period. Ask her to describe what she feels like when she's acting out like that. Maybe it will provide some insight - and maybe it will help her recognize when the unruliness is coming.<BR/><BR/>Anyone who tosses their kid in the scummy pool is a good Mom in my book.Nancy Rhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12772373803915294292noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30714689.post-13469122764363756102007-05-30T12:40:00.000-05:002007-05-30T12:40:00.000-05:00Hi--I feel your pain! I'm new here, and I hope I'...Hi--I feel your pain! I'm new here, and I hope I'm not butting in--but this sounds familiar (particularly after reading some of your other posts) and I do have a suggestion.<BR/><BR/>Just outside Chicago is an outfit called the Pfeiffer Treatment Center. It's the clinical arm of the Health Research Institute. Website: hriptc.org. Also, you can google "Dr. William Walsh" to get an even better idea of what they do there.<BR/><BR/>Essentially, they treat behavior issues individually, biochemically. By that I mean that they test a patient to assess for her specific chemical profile and treat any imbalances specifically, rather than just throwing the whole pharmacopeia at the issue to see what sticks. <BR/><BR/>Your daughters sound a lot like mine, and they have literally given us a new lease on life. From what your describe, I don't think this is your fault at all, nor is it your children's fault. These doctors aren't quite "mainstream", but they are real doctors and they're legit. They treat patients form all over the world. The day we were there the next patient had come from Sweden. And we found the treatment to be surprisingly affordable--strangely (or not) much less expensive that what we were paying the usual therapists, psychiatrists, etc. Our oldest was a different child in about three weeks. I can't say enough about them, and what they do makes sense.<BR/><BR/>I'll be happy to talk further with you about it if you have questions. you may email me at maliamullican@aol.com.<BR/><BR/>Good luck!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30714689.post-17991637844303409062007-05-28T07:47:00.000-05:002007-05-28T07:47:00.000-05:00Oh man, that is truly suckful. I have just been in...Oh man, that is truly suckful. I have just been in that place of not wanting to be a mum anymore and feeling like I am failing at it miserably. I know that saying it will pass is cold cold comfort indeed but maybe just store it in the back of your head somewhere.<BR/><BR/>I don't really know what to say - perhaps it's Wild who needs some counselling? <BR/><BR/>What does Unruly say when you talk to her about it?<BR/><BR/>Apart from that, I'm wondering how a school kicks out a 5-year-old? What sort of duy-of-care is that showing to the child and support the parents in finding workable solutions???<BR/><BR/>Eugh.<BR/><BR/>I keep thinking "Badger will have advice on this one". Totally unfounded, just a gut feel.KPBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06124224647059797583noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30714689.post-84740748475814759702007-05-24T20:03:00.000-05:002007-05-24T20:03:00.000-05:00Sorry to hear you are having a hard time right now...Sorry to hear you are having a hard time right now. I'm horrible at advice but I'm sending you HUGS!!!!Linleehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13183473187010124274noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30714689.post-67350290127364727712007-05-24T19:21:00.000-05:002007-05-24T19:21:00.000-05:00Oh girl, I feel for you. I wish I had some good ad...Oh girl, I feel for you. I wish I had some good advice but I don't. I'm having trouble figuring out my own kids. I can relate so much with this post especially the last sentence. I wrote a post about not liking my kid not too long ago. My suggestion is to take her to a therapist. It helped our daughter when she was going through a difficult time. I have a friend who is a child therapist in Carbondale. I'm not sure how far that is from you. Hang in there. You are not alone.Slackermommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03865649499682881722noreply@blogger.com