Half a pound of flesh

Hubby and I have actually been sticking to our workout plan and using the new "toy" in the basement regularly. Three days a week for half an hour. Next week it bumps up to about 45 minutes. I lift weights and do aerobics between sets and while waiting for him to do his sets. Jump rope, jumping jacks, knee lifts, jogging in place, plyometrics, sit ups on the ball, lunges, etc. It's a start. I'm walking on the "off" days plus I have all the outdoor chores that do require some effort and I ride. So, I'm burning calories. I'm sweating.

I'm on a 1,200 calorie a day diet which we started almost three weeks ago, along with the exercising. It's been tough for me as I've had to eliminate creamer and sweetener from my tea and my coffee and switch to plain, no-fat yogurt instead of all the exciting flavors I enjoyed before. We use no butter, no white bread, no white rice, no sugar, no pasta, very, very little cheese. I cook everything from scratch (I always have) and cut out the canned veggies (too much salt). And of course, people at work always bring something bad in (chocolate, cookies, bagels with cream cheese, etc. etc.) to tempt me. I've been GOOD! I indulged in ONE (yes ONE!) peanut M&M yesterday. That's it. I keep a food diary and have been using measuring cups for EVERYTHING so I know exactly what I'm eating. There isn't any guessing going on here. A serving is measured and the calories tabulated and added to the online diary so I can keep track of intake.

He has lost around 4 pounds, which is right where he's supposed to be. Me. Half a pound. Half. A. Freaking. Pound. Why do I bother? Why do I keep trying when obviously it doesn't work for me and obviously, I'm meant to be fat? Do I need to go to a 900 calorie a day diet and work out EVERY day, twice a day?

Yes, I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated and hungry and muscle sore. But, no pain, no gain, right? *sigh*

A little something for us

My husband and I typically don't get each other much for Christmas. We are kind of at that point where when he really wants something, he gets it, and I do, too. There are some things we hint about during the year and gift-giving throughout the year isn't uncommon for us.

Anyway, this year we decided to splurge on ourselves. We both need to lose weight and get in shape and although I had a membership at a local gym, our schedules were seriously limiting the amount of time we could spend there. I was only getting to the gym a few times a month, him, not at all.

For years he's been commenting about how much he wants a BowFlex. I was skeptical because it seemed like a fad to me. But, I decided to go ahead and research it a bit (because after hearing him make comments about one for the past 8 years, I figured it was a pretty big hint). And I discovered it was probably exactly what we needed to get us up off our butts.

A few years ago our schedules meshed pretty well and we lived closer to the gym so we were able to work out together and push each other. I do better when I'm being pushed, or challenged by a partner. I think he does, too.

So, now our basement is our workout zone. We have the new BowFlex. Which arrived in NINE boxes that weighed nearly 500# and had to be completely assembled! Ack. Hubby put that sucker together very well, I might add.
I also put the old stereo system down there. It doesn't get any radio stations and the CD player is toast, but I can still plug in my MP3 player and go. I have a yoga mat and my giant abs ball down there, too. I'd like to get a little TV with a built-in video/CD player so I can play some of my aerobics/yoga/pilates videos down there. Much more space than upstairs and the kids and critters aren't in the way. Every try to do a pilates plank with a kid who wants to sit on you while you do it? Yeah, not so helpful! How about crunches with the dogs trying to lick your face? Ewww...no fun!

We've started working out and I must say, it's a good workout. And it is so nice having someone push me along and sweat right along with me. So, here's to hoping our splurge will really payoff in the long run!

Just the stepmom

Oh my. Is it really almost Christmas? Really? Sheesh. Where did all the time go?

Wild is gone for Christmas this year. She is with her birth mother, the woman who hasn't been able to spare more than 1/2 hour for her since she was born.

Yes, it was Wild's decision to spend this holiday with a family of complete strangers. The Hubster and I decided that even though we'd much rather have her home, we also weren't going to stand in her way or stop her from seeing this woman. She's old enough to make that kind of decision.

Am I hurt and angry? You betcha. Yeah, I'm only the stepmom, but dammit, I've been "only the stepmom" for 11 years. I've been there for every up and down, every hormonal freak-out and breakdown, every good thing, every breakup and disappointment. Her birth mother has NEVER been there. She hasn't been there for Wild at all but for some reason, Wild has put the woman up on a pedestal. In her mind, this woman can do no wrong. Nevermind she hasn't been a mother at all and has disappointed far more often than not.

When the Egg Donor arrived to pick Wild up Sunday evening it was the first EVER that I've seen her. In 11 years, I'd never seen her before. She looked to be about 50 years old (even though she is younger than me), was missing quite a few teeth and smelled funky, like stale cigarettes, old body odor and mold. Imagine a meth addict and you'll have a pretty good idea of what I saw, stringy, unwashed hair and all.

That is what my daughter left with. Was I uncomfortable with letting a stranger leave with Wild? Beyond description. But, again. I'm just the stepmom, there isn't a damn thing I can do about it.

Unruly doesn't really understand why her sister didn't want to spend Christmas with us, and I really didn't know how to explain it without getting ugly about it. So, I kept my mouth halfway shut and just said she wanted to spend some time with her "real mom." I think she accepted that.

So, Hubster and I are going to wrap presents tonight, and stuff just one stocking. Unruly and I will make cookies for Santa and sprinkle some "reindeer food" in the yard. We'll open gifts tomorrow morning, I'll bake a ham and in the afternoon we'll go see "Bedtime Stories."

We won't have snow, we'll have freezing rain, again. To add to the mud and freezing rain we've had for the past month.

Merry Christmas.

Pulling my hair out

I just don't know whether to be grateful Unruly's school keeps such close tabs on the welfare of their students or be angry that mine seems to be singled out for some reason.

First it was the walnut juice stains on her hands. I got a call from the nurse about that.
Then it was the itchy scalp. I got a call about that and a recommendation that I use conditioner on her head.
Today it's was a call about a cat bite Unruly got last night on her hand. The nurse wanted to let me know that Unruly had a cat bite (ummm..yes, we knew) and that she circled the bite with marker so we could watch for swelling. She also proceeded to tell me how dangerous cat bites can be. Well, thanks for that, but really, I have it under control. I know about cat bites. I told Unruly to tell me if it hurt more or felt hotter and told her cats have tons of nasty germs in their mouths that could cause her to get sick. I told the nurse, quite firmly, that the bite had been scrubbed, disinfected and slathered with antibiotic ointment and then covered with New Skin antibiotic before bed last night. I also told her that I was keeping an eye on it and would contact Unruly's doctor if I felt it was getting infected, thank you very much.

Was that snotty of me? I'm frustrated at this point because it just feels like she's been singled out for some reason. We don't beat our kids. We don't abuse our kids. They are fed, bathed, clothed, housed and nurtured quite adequately. We don't yell at or ignore our kids, hell, they don't even get spanked when they probably should.

So, I'm stuck between really wanting to make a stink about this perceived singling out of my daughter and just keeping my mouth shut and being thankful that the teacher and nurse are paying attention to the kids instead of just going through their days oblivious. Because really, I do hope they are just as attentive to the kids who NEED the intervention as they are to my kid, who is just being a kid.

Old hair

Unruly climbed up on the couch next to me the other night for our nightly "snuggle time" before bed. Winter snuggle time is especially nice because we can get all nice and cozy under a warm blanket and just snuggle without sweating against each other.

She likes to mess with my hair during snuggle time and this time, she found an odd patch of hair near my right temple.

"Mommy, why are some of your hairs old?" she asked, separating the grays from the auburn.

"What do you mean 'old'?" I queried, knowing perfectly well what she was referring to but wanting to hear her answer.

"You know, old, all the color is gone and they are just white. Like old people," she explained.

"Can you pull it out for me?"

"No, mom, there are too many, I don't want to make you bald," she said.

*sigh*

"You gave them to me, you know," I chided with a smile.

"I know. And I'm going to give you more," she giggled. "Your whole hair will be old!"

Ohh...that child. She is too smart for her own darned good.

Men vs Women: A Fat Story

Sometimes I am SO jealous of men. Seriously. My darling hubby and I have been dieting together. Okay, dieting isn't the right word. We are making changes in what we eat...reducing portions, selecting more healthy foods and he's eating fast food quite a bit less.

We are both exercising. He goes for a walk during the day at work, I go to the gym 3-4 days a week. I do two Pilates classes and lift weights and do aerobics exercises at the gym.

He just walks and shovels a bit less greasy fast food into his mouth. I work my ASS off and bring my breakfast and lunch to work every day. Typical breakfast/lunch at work consists of yogurt with fresh fruit, an apple, 1/2 cup bran cereal with flax and a PB&J sandwich on whole wheat bread. Sometimes I'll toss in one of those fat-free cups of chocolate pudding.

After two weeks he has lost SEVEN pounds. I've lost half a pound. What the heck?

For him, weight loss is easy. For me, it's a constant battle. I work hard to lose very little, then get depressed because I'm trying so hard to lose and can't. I eat when I get depressed, see the cycle? So when I get depressed, I gain more weight, try to take it off again, get depressed AGAIN when the results are pathetic. Of course, I always end up gaining more than I lose.

Earlier this week he invited me to go to lunch with him, at a pizza place. I declined. He asked again, really trying to get me to go. He couldn't understand why I was saying no. I think I got through to him when I finally said: "Honey, I have to work three times as hard and eat five times LESS than you to lose even half what you do. Pizza is NOT on my list of okay food."

But he'll never really understand because it is so easy for him to lose it. He will never understand how depressed and discouraged I get.

I've battled my weight my entire life. For those who can look at someone who's overweight and say "just eat less," you have no idea how hard it can be. I eat less. A lot less. I exercise more. I really put a lot of effort into it then get very discouraged by the absolute lack of results. And no, I don't expect results in a few weeks. This is months and months of lackluster results.

I've had really, really good results in the past, but maintaining the loss is very difficult. It slowly creeps back up. At one point I was working out for nearly two hours every day six days a week for more than a year, sometimes working out twice a day, plus riding and doing a lot of heavy lifting, digging, moving type of work around the barn and at home. After I hit that weight loss plateau I started getting more and more discouraged. I tried ramping up the exercise and cutting out even more food, but the scale refused to budge. You can only live on egg whites, tuna, apples, carrots, raw peas and protein shakes for so long before you feel like you are starving to death.

So, I gave up. I just stopped going to the gym. I stopped watching what I ate. What was the point anyway? I couldn't live the rest of my life starving myself and working out like a fiend.

I've had the thyroid tested. Nothing wrong there. I had my metabolism tested and as expected, it's very inefficient and extremely sluggish. I don't know how to change that.

I'm at the point where I just don't know what to do any more.

And that's depressing.

Politics, briefly

Ahh, it's that time of year again. The time of year when politics becomes the topic of discussion in so many circles, both professional and personal.

It drives me crazy when people assume that because I'm a member of "The Media" I'm automatically a "bleeding heart liberal." It happens ALL the time and actually, I find it quite offensive.

Sure, I used to be very liberal, once a long time ago when I was in college and an active member of the NORML organization. Very active. Back when I was an idealist and thought every one should be given a government hand out if they didn't have a job and needed some help. I was all for government programs to help the needy. I've spent far too long in this business and seen far too many "needy" who really aren't to believe that to be true any more.

Today, I am very much against government interference, regulations and programs. We don't need MORE government, we need about 99% LESS government. Communities, churches, non-profits and family should help their neediest members, not the government.

That might make me a conservative. But I'm not. There are too many stances conservatives take that I cannot agree with.

Really, I would classify myself as a libertarian conservative. Not quite conservative, not quite liberal. Libertarians believe in personal liberty and small government.

I am neither a Democrat nor a Republican.

I am a member of the Green Party. So, maybe the Green Party is a little bit liberal, but the party emphasizes small government and encourages non-hierarchical participatory democracy, something we haven't had in this country for decades. Social justice and equal opportunity are Green Party values. Note: social JUSTICE, not government handouts. Big difference.

That's enough politics. I just needed to get it off my chest because I am SO sick and tired of people assuming they know my political values strictly based on the career I chose.

Hello, Gustav

Hurricane Gustav is here. Well, the remnants are here, and we are thankful. I think it's kind of stuck over us right now, and I'm not going to complain. Things were getting awfully dry, dusty and brown 'round these parts and we needed the rain. As much damage as those hurricanes do to coastal cities and disrupt so many lives, we up here in the Midwest watch them coming and say little "thank yous," especially when it's dry. It's raining like mad outside, turning my browning grass green and my drooping flowers perky and vibrant again. We depend on those hurricane remnants every late summer. Funny how weather patterns work, isn't it? Katrina brought us pretty nasty storms, lightning, wind, tornadoes, the whole kaboodle. Gustav has brought us a steady, but soft, rain and very little destructive wind.

We've needed a day like this for a few weeks. Rainy, cool, dark and gloomy. Oh, sure, sunny, blue skies are great, we all appreciate them. But every now and then, I need a wet, gray day. For me, they are very relaxing and put me into a mood where I all I want to do is snuggle up on the couch with a good book and a mug of Earl Gray tea and just chill. I love them. And they force me to sit and just do NOTHING. I have a really hard time just sitting and doing nothing. It's a character flaw. I never stop unless something like rainy, snowy or icy weather forces me to stop. Well, most of the time it works, sometimes I just channel that need to DO DO DO and GO GO GO into inside tasks. I'm pretty sure it drives my husband crazy. He has no problem just doing nothing. I find it very hard, heck, I find it very hard to sit through an entire movie without feeling the urge to DO something while I'm watching.

The timing is perfect. Hubs has been sick for the past three days. Stay at home miserable sick. And now, I feel the bug moving in on my immune system. My neck hurts, my tummy hurts and my head is starting to ache. It's a perfect day to go home, curl up on the couch and sleep.

Second thoughts

The separation package being offered by my company is pretty good. Two weeks full pay for every year you've been continuously employed. The deal is the same whether you volunteer to leave or get fired. Under that package I would get 6 months of full pay if I leave or get fired. Yes, I've been there for 15 years. A little crazy, isn't it?

After much conversation with my husband and an afternoon of perusing what jobs are available out there, we've decided I'm going to take my chances and not apply for the voluntary separation. Why? Well, think about it...I've been doing this job for 15 years. On the same software with little to no training in anything else. I've positioned myself well in the company as I am responsible for nearly all of the online content. Not the design, just the content.

I don't have any marketable skills, unless someone is hiring a journalist. And right now, they are firing media, not hiring. Going through the employment ads made me realize I don't have the skills I need to move smoothly into another career. I know SOME Excel and Powerpoint, but not enough. I have some management skills, but not enough.

The plan, as it stands right now barring an involuntary separation, is for me to work on increasing those skills over the next year or two through classes, seminars, certifications and self-help. I've already enrolled in a 3-day seminar next month in multi-media production and storytelling. The world of news is shifting very rapidly to all online content so having a good, solid base in how to effectively and efficiently PRODUCE that content is going to serve positively for my future career prospects.

Sure, we could get by on my husband's salary alone, but there are some pretty big purchases/investments we are planning and won't be able to follow through on those without my salary. We want to have a new barn built next spring, we need to buy a horse trailer, there are some pretty big house improvements we want to make (new flooring being at the top of the list) and we'd like to add some outdoor lighting to my riding arena. These are all pretty big dollar improvements that won't be possible if I'm not employed. Plus, my desire to compete in eventing and join a foxhunting club isn't going to happen without the extra funds.

Better and Better!

Ohh...this wonderfully crappy day just got BETTER!

My company has announced MORE layoffs. Remember they just announced wage freezes? And in July they laid off 2% of our staff. "Voluntary separation" they call it. The newsroom wasn't eligible for the last round of "voluntary separations," but I would have taken it if offered.

Voluntary separation...it sounds like a disease, doesn't it? What a wonderfully politically correct way to say "YOU'RE FIRED!"

I'm applying for it.

Pissy and whiny

All I want to do is crawl back into bed and pretend this day hasn't started yet. Why don't we get "do overs" in real life? Sure would make some days a whole lot easier.

The day started out badly, the Internet connection at home was utter CRAP. Did I mention I work from home in the morning and if I don't have a decent connection, I don't get any work done. If I don't get any work done, I have to stay later at work during the day to get it done even though I was up at the buttcrack of dawn to WORK? Is it MY fault the Internet connection occasionally sucks?

So I'm running late, which makes Hubby run late, which means we are BOTH staying late today, which sucks. I get to work and my stupid work computer is on the freaking fritz. What do you mean it's OUT OF MEMORY? WHAT?! Why you piece of...Mac crap. I HATE Macs. In particular, I hate my work Mac. It's useless. I mean...what the hell? OUT OF MEMORY?! It's probably a good thing all the windows in this place are painted closed or there would be one less useless Mac in the newsroom.

And I'm freezing cold. My hands are so cold I can barely feel my fingers. The nation is having a major energy upheaval and I'm freezing cold on a summer day? Something is NOT right with that picture. We conserve energy at home. We are so devoted to reduce, reuse, recycle it's almost a religion for us. Yet businesses? Don't they GET it? Don't they realize they are the ones creating all these energy increases by insisting on setting the AC on Arctic Blast and refusing to turn out lights at night? How dumb is that. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Massive lay-offs, wage freezes, cut backs industry-wide...yet the building blazes with light when no one is here and it's freezing cold in the middle of summer. There is no common sense in the corporate world. I know this for a fact.

It just doesn't make sense and it's feeding my already pissy attitude this morning. I just want to go home.

Why yes, that's me!

You Are An ISTP

The Mechanic You are calm and collected, even in the most difficult of situations. A person of action and self-direction, you love being independent. To outsiders you seem impulsive, surprising, and unpredictable. You are good at understanding how all things work, except for people. In love, you tend to be very easy going and flexible. The only thing you can't stand for is someone trying to change you or your life. At work, you can stay completely calm under pressure. You handle stress well. You would make an excellent pilot, forensic pathologist, or athlete. How you see yourself: Logical, flexible, and unconventional When other people don't get you, they see you as: Indecisive, flippant, and disrespctful

What's Your Personality Type?

Edited to add the definition of an ISTP personality:

ISTP (Introversion, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving)
ISTPs excel at analyzing situations to reach the heart of a problem so that they can swiftly implement a functional repair, making them ideally suited to the field of engineering. Naturally quiet people, they are interested in understanding how systems operate, focusing on efficient operation and structure. They are open to new information and approaches. But contrary to their seemingly detached natures, ISTPs are often capable of humorously insightful observations about the world around them, and can be closet daredevils who gravitate toward fast-moving or risky hobbies (such as bungee jumping, hang gliding, racing, motorcycling, and parachuting), recreational sports (such as downhill skiing, ice hockey, and scuba diving), and careers (such as aviation and firefighting).

I KNEW I chose the wrong career!

Home: Where the air is like soup

We're home. Our plane landed around midnight and I think I managed to get to sleep around 2:30 a.m....and up again just before 6 a.m. to head in to work. Tell me that wasn't planned well. Sheesh. Sometimes I think I can do more than I really can. What I can't do well is operate like a normal human being on four hours of sleep. It's just not happening.

When we walked off the plane and into that tunnel thing into the terminal the first thing we all noticed was the heaviness in the air. And the rivulets of water running down the interior walls of the tunnel. Humidity anyone? The real temperature here is the same as it was in California, but it feels about 20 degrees hotter. And hard to breathe. And heavy. Oh, so heavy and thick.

From golden (aka dead grass everywhere) yet dusty California to tropical, wet and incredibly green Illinois. What a difference! My skin already feels better, less like a dried up raisin and more like a juicy peach. But this being drenched in sweat as soon as you walk outside thing just sucks. I forgot how much it sucks.

Did you know that grass can grow FEET in a mere ten days? Seriously. It can. I don't know where my flower beds are, but I'm pretty sure they are hiding somewhere in the jungle that was once my lawn. Incredible. I think I saw wild animals creeping through the grass and stalking my dogs this morning. I told the hubster that if I die first while we still live on the farm, he'd best just pack up all his stuff and find a nice condo where someone else will do the yardwork for him. Because a mowin' man he ain't. He just doesn't do yard work. I do yard work and barn work while he folds the laundry. It works for me. Except when I'm gone, then it's extra work for me.

I have TONS of wonderful photos. Tons. And they are beautiful. I can't wait to share!

He's home!

He loaded right up into the trailer and traveled beautifully the two hours to his new home. Doesn't he have the sweetest face? He's an absolute doll.


He even comes when he's called...or if he hears the cellophane wrapper of a peppermint crinkling in my fingers. He's a peppermint addict!

I watched him for three hours Sunday afternoon, just amazed that he's in MY pasture. I thought of names. All kinds of names. Silly ones. Common ones. Long ones. Pretentious ones.

None seemed to really fit him.

Then, out of nowhere, it hit me and all other names were gone from the massive name jumble in my head. It was the only one that suited him.

His name is Gabriel. We're calling him Gabe (or the Gabe-ster) and he's already responding to it. I think he likes it.

Fingers crossed...follow up

He now needs a new name. Stick N Rudder just isn't going to cut it when he comes home on Sunday.

I have a few ideas on the name, but I haven't decided yet. It may take awhile. Input is always welcome!

That was the most worthwhile two hour trip I've made in a long, long time. Wow. What an incredible animal! He's beautiful, he's about as people and animal friendly as they come. He kept snuffling Unruly's hair and sniffing her with great curiosity then, he'd come over, and like a dog, put his nose under my hand to get a scratch. But not in a pushy, dangerous way, in a "please pet me" way.

He's ENORMOUS. In foot height he stands 5'6" at the wither. Follow his front leg straight up to where his mane ends and his back starts, that's his wither. I'm 5'2". Heh.

The picture just doesn't do him justice in any way, shape or form. When he moves, he floats over the ground, almost like his feet have wings. He looks more like a warmblood than a Thoroughbred. I really didn't think I'd ever want a gelding, I've always been more of a mare kind of girl, but this big guy fits everything I was looking for, then more.

Can you say love at first sight? He is my new partner, I have no doubts about it. It will be a challenge because he's only track-broke (which means he's never been ridden by anyone but a jockey who wants him to RUN!!), but I'll have help along the way if I need it, and I think he's plenty sane enough not to try to turn my pastures into the Kentucky Derby the first time I hop up. Hop? Who am I kidding. I'm going to need a freakin' step ladder to get up there!

Fingers crossed...

Meet Stick N Rudder.
I'm going to drive two hours to go look at him tomorrow. He's a four-year-old Thoroughbred retired from the track because he's just too darned slow for racing. I found two videos of him running at Arlington in Kentucky, and he finished at the back of the pack both times! He's just not into racing.

I've been looking for a new horse for myself since my beautiful, wonderful Star died on Mother's Day nearly four years ago. It's been a long, long search. Sometimes a heartbreaking search. Every horse I've liked was way above my price range. The ones I could afford weren't quite what I was looking for. I've been looking for another partner to just have fun with and I'm really missing a horse of my own. Chief is Unruly's, Calypso is Hubster's. And I like them both, but they're just not MY partner, ya know?

I haven't been looking for anything terribly fancy, but my only requirements are that it must be a Thoroughbred off the track with clean legs and a sane mind. My ex-jockey friend found this one for me, and he has been raised and trained by one of her friends. He's not advertised because the owner wants him to go to a good home, which is definitely what we are! I've had more than one person tell me when they die, they want to come back as one of my horses.

The man in the picture with Stick N Rudder is 6'4" tall, if that gives you any idea about the horse. In horse terms, he stands 16.2 hh. He's HUGE! And apparently, he's a sweety. He comes with clean, blemish-free legs, which is always a concern with horses off the track.

I'm so excited I can barely wait to go see him! Tomorrow, work is going to DRAG!

Step by step

When we started looking for horse property many years ago my ultimate goal was to find a place where eventually I could foster horses and help them find forever homes. We are slowly, but surely, moving towards that goal with our little piece of paradise here in the Midwest. Of course the things that still need to be done take much money, but we'll get there, hopefully sooner than later!

With hay and gas prices skyrocketing, there are A LOT of unwanted and abused horses out there. There are abandoned and starving horses, many more than there were just five years ago. The national forest in Southern Illinois is trying to figure out how to deal with a herd of more than 100 feral horses that have been dumped there over the past two years. Kentucky and Missouri have the same problem and no one seems to know how to deal with it. There are countless horses at the track who are no longer profitable and end up at auction and some end up on the killer's truck to Canada or Mexico.

I can't save them all, I know that, but I sure would like to help as many as I can.

I want to help horses like Naysa and all the other ones who have been starved, abused, abandoned, neglected and forgotten.

The man who did that to her is still loose, a year after he left Naysa for dead on the side of the road. He needs to be locked up, forever. Unfortunately, our laws are no where near as tough as they should be when it comes to animal abusers. No where near as tough.

I'm making the connections I need to make in the horse world around here, and we're creating the space we need to give them a second chance they deserve. It's a slow process, but one I'm extremely passionate about.

Connecting

It's funny how sometimes a mistake can lead to good things. Recently I signed up for Reunion.com and inadvertantly clicked on "invite all contacts." So, everyone in my address book got a nice little "connect with me!" request.

For those who got it and thought I'd lost my mind (I NEVER send mass mailings), I'm sorry!

But, my extra-itchy clicky finger also "connected" me to at least three people I'd hadn't heard from in forever. People I'd all but forgotten were in my address book. Not forgotten about, mind you, but people who kind of went by the wayside as we go through life.

This morning I had three wonderful "how ARE you?" emails from my long lost friends in response to my accidental click n' mail. Which was a very, very pleasant surprise.

You know how it is — things get in the way, time becomes scarce, and friendships, especially those of the long-distance variety, take effort to maintain. And I wasn't putting in that effort. I am a bad friend. Ok. Not a bad friend. I'm a good, albeit sometimes lazy, friend.

I like re-connecting. It's fun, and with some of those "old friends," it's a nice, long walk down memory lane!

Oh, my

I figured I'd better log in and post before I forget my password!

Summer is so, so busy for me. By the time I get home from work, do my outside chores, play with my horses and my kids and do the inside routine, it's almost 10 p.m. and all I want to do is hit the hay! Rain rain rain and more rain has kept the pastures, field and lawns deliciously green...but also growing at an uncontrollable rate. I never thought I'd get sick of mowing...but I'm getting sick of mowing. My 8-acre field is gorgeous with a variety of colorful wildflowers and grasses, butterflies and an assorted variety of birds (including a few quail I spotted a few days ago and some rarely seen meadowlarks), but it's now over four feet high and almost at the impossible to mow point. I keep teetering back and forth between "do I mow it now or leave it to seed and mow it in the fall when it's dry and easier to get through?" If I mow the whole darn thing now, it will be ugly for a few weeks while the grasses grow back. If I DON'T mow now, the weeds will go to seed and I'll have even MORE unwanted weeds next spring. I'm also afraid I'll take away the habitat of whatever may be living in there now: Quail, snakes, rabbits, butterflies, ground-nesting birds, etc. What a conundrum!

I actually had to get up before the sun Thursday just so I could ride. Because I knew the grass needed some mowing attention and my flower beds needed weeding and my veggies needed tending.

During the spring I hated our swimming pool because we couldn't keep the damn thing clean. These days, I'm loving it! What better way to end a hot, sweaty day working than a quick dip in those clear, cool, blue waters. Ahhh....refreshing!

Two of my guinea hens have been "setting" for just over three weeks. They are incubating...are you ready for this? Around 60 eggs! Holy guinea eggs! If they all hatch (which I seriously doubt) and live (even bigger doubt on that), what the heck am I going to do with 60 more guineas? Egads! I'm becoming the old chicken lady! We have 25 fancy, rare and ornamental week-old pullets (hens) and two Phoenix rooster chicks in the brooder in the basement. Outside we have three turkey chicks, the guineas, two ducks (yes, the others are now in the freezer, that was a non-pleasant experience), and eight grown chickens. We're almost a chicken farm!

I have a whole file of pictures I need to post. Flood pictures, chick pics, kid pics, horse pics, etc. etc. Where, or where, is my time?

Absence strengthens

The Hubster is gone, adios. He's on a jet plane headed to Las Vegas for the rest of the week. For a work conference...uh huh. I wonder how much "work" will get done compared to "fun."

All weekend he kept asking if I was going to miss him. Well, of course I'll miss him. But I won't MISS HIM, like desperately pining away for him in my robe whilst cramming bonbons in my face and watching bad daytime television. Is that awful of me? I'm a firm believer in the "absence makes the heart grow fonder" concept. Every now and again, couples just need some time APART.

Our allotted time apart was far overdue. I can always tell when we get to that point because everything he does starts to drive. me. crazy. His sound of his chewing at dinner. Crazy. The way he breathes. Crazy. The way he likes to walk around in his boxers. Crazy. The amount of time he spends in the bathroom. Crazy. How he fixates on all things geek. Crazy.

See? Time for a little quality days apart, yes? I'm sure he'll have fun. And the girls and I will have fun too. Unruly will adopt my bed as her own until Hubster gets home, which is quite all right with me. Far too soon she'll be too old to cuddle up with ole mom, so I'll get as much cuddling as I can now.

But while I'm enjoying our time apart, I'll also be cursing his absence. Because we still have a party to host Saturday. And he doesn't get home until Friday night.

By the way...I made him angry twice this weekend because I did a couple of things I've been asking him to do for ages. A long time ago I decided I wasn't going to be a nag. I'd ask him twice, and only twice, to do something, then give him some time to do it (a month or so), and if it didn't get done, I'd just do it myself without saying a word. So, that's what I did.

I've been asking him for about a month to get the basement straightened up. It didn't happen and it didn't happen. So, Sunday, I did it and he got mad.

Monday the rain let up long enough for me to climb up on the roof and seal around a vent where we believe there is a leak. I asked him back in FEBRUARY to see about doing something about it. In April I purchased roof sealer specifically designed for such a problem and I reminded him again to please climb up on the roof and seal around the vent in April. I reminded him one more time about three weeks ago and then I dropped it so I wouldn't break my "no nagging" rule.

I figured after three reminders and four months and still no action, it wouldn't be done. So, I did it. It took all of 20 minutes. Seriously. And he got mad that I did it.

Please explain to me why he would get mad at me for doing something that needed to be done after I gave him FOUR MONTHS to do it? I'm all confused.