Tuesday, September 04, 2007


Oh. My. God. They are kidding, right? Someone actually patented fake testicles? For PETS? No. No. No. That's just not right!

Quoted directly from the Neuticles site:

Neuticles allow your pet to retain his natural look, self esteem and aids in the trauma associated with neutering.

So who is really "traumatized" by the process of neutering a dog or a cat? Not the dog. Not the cat.

I'm guessing it was the guy who patented the fake ones because none of my boy beasties have their balls, and none of them miss them. Not one of them has exhibited any kind of trauma or lack of self-esteem associated with being balls-free. Not one.

And they continue to engage in highly socially-unacceptable behavior and lick around down there as if they actually have something to lick, which they don't. Well, except for the horse. He has a hard time reaching where his used to be.

It boggles me that someone saw the need to PATENT FAKE PET TESTICLES. Even better....obviously someone is buying them! What is wrong with people?

I'll bet whomever patented those, probably patented the Bumper Nuts, too.

People. Stop it. You're. Not. Right.


Ninja Of The Mundane said...

That's utter sac-rilege.

MP said...

The bumper nuts are WRONG..and the things people do to pets..OMG!!

We record Regis and Kelly..(yeah lame)..anyway they had a thing on the other day about a company that makes WIGS for dogs..yes, your dog can have a mullet!

I bet if I drive down by Bevo Mill I might see one!

Jenn said...


mp...I'll bet you'll find a dog sporting a mullet and fake testicles driving around with his equally mulleted owner in a redneck pick-up truck complete with bumper nuts.

nell said...

Bumpernuts?! Neuticles?! Who are these people? How do you find these things? Is there a God? This post raises a lot of serious issues for me...

Lisa said...

Seriously? WTF. But it IS really funny. I'd like to be part of the brain storming ideas for THAT marketing campaign. That would be quite entertaining.

Ninja Of The Mundane said...

This would be good to market to married men ... after all, they pretty much symbolically check their cojones at the church altar, don't they?

The Wooden Porch said...

"Yes, hard is good. When I was in high school, I spent a lot of time on my knees playing with balls. I guess it was only natural that I became a catcher."

--Mike Piazza

What the bloody hell is this quote about??

Queen of Shake-Shake said...

See! Even further proof that NO ONE is normal in this world.