Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Sister, sister

I'm sick and tired of breaking up fights between the 15-year-old and the six-year-old. You'd think with nearly 10 years between them they could at least act civil towards each other. My sister and I fought constantly, but we are only two years apart. We had reasons to fight, she annoyed me and I forced her to do things we weren't supposed to do so if we got caught, I wasn't the only one in trouble. Somehow though, it never worked out as planned. I was usually the only one who got in trouble. Think maybe my mom caught wind of my scheming? Naw.... And she was kind of a dork...I mean, color guard? Art geek? Sheesh.

Wild and Unruly fight like they have just two years between them. Unruly touches Wild's bedroom door and all hell breaks loose. It's not like they are borrowing clothes are stealing boyfriends or spreading rumors. Wild looks at Unruly wrong and a reverberating "MOM!!" echoes through the house and makes me want to hide under the nearest rock. Any rock. I'll take up residence with the roly polys and the worms. They probably get along at least.

Very rarely are my daughters ever actually nice to each other, which drives me crazy. Why can't they just be nice? They are always poking and picking, touching and evoking, anything to get a rise out of the other one. They know which buttons turn on crazy, and they push them...incessantly. Just be nice. For once it would be so satisfying to hear them use nice words to each other and not come tattling to me over every little "crime" committed by the other. I hear myself saying "Would you two just. be. nice. to each other? Please?" more than any other phrase. Well, except for the "Momma needs another margarita," phrase. That one is most likely uttered most often.

I guess I always had visions of Wild standing up for Unruly and being a role model for her little sister. I imagined them playing board games together and Wild helping Unruly paint her nails or decorate her room and Unruly going to her big sister for help to solve boy problems or advice on clothes and make-up.

Instead, I got girls who pick at each other like sticky boogers and a 6-year-old who knows the words to "Girlfriend," and "Stupid Girls."

Oh, and they both can roll their eyes and sigh with great annoyance at a level of expertise not seen since Molly Ringwald graced the big screen in "Sixteen Candles" and "The Breakfast Club."

Maybe things will get better. A mom can only hope, eh?

After all, I actually like my sister now. In fact, I would have to say she's one of my best friends, she's that cool. Truly.


nell said...

I babysat for a two year old years ago who knew just how to push all of her brothers buttons. He was fourteen - twelve years older. I dread the fights I know will come with my girls, I was so mean to my little brother, so mean. I hope they figure out soon that it's way more fun to just be nice to each other.

Bananas said...

oh man, this SO brings back memories. My sister and I used to fight like cats and dogs... knock down, drag-out, kicking and screaming, biting and hair pulling, pinching and eye-gouging... it was UGLY! My mom used to get SO mad. NOW I know why. We don't do it anymore though... usually. ;)

goat roper said...


slackermommy said...

I've got the same thing going on over here. I'm hopeful that my girls will grow up to be as close as me and my sis are. They see how well we get along so hopefully that's setting an example that will stick.

Queen of Shake-Shake said...

My sis and I are 4 years apart. She made me eat cat once and I shoved a butter bean up her nose.

Ahh, sweet love!

Atypical California Girl said...

My sister is 3.5 years older than me.
We fought all the time.
I thought she got special treatment and more priveleges because she was older.
She thought I got them because I was younger.
When she left home at 18 to join the Navy, I thought "Great. She is gone and she left all her best shoes and clothes behind!"
But I missed her like crazy.
We are great friends now.
Your girls will get there. Sometimes it just takes time.

amy said...

Ok, I'm putting this one to a vote...
which is dorkier: color guard flag waver or marching band clarinet player?
Sure, color guard is part of marching band. But at least I wasn't marching around with a big hollow stick shoved in my mouth and spit flying everywhere!

(They sell duct tape in multiple colors you know. Wild likes green, and I'm thinking Unruly would be so cute in a nice purple.)

diane said...

my vote is...anything marching band is dorky. Jen i've got a pretty dorky picture of you in a marching band uniform. luv ya a.di

Sona said...

Hey - I played clarinet in a marching band!

Ninja Of The Mundane said...

I guess I don't see this as funny. Any 15-year-old who can't instantly see that a 6-year-old is not her peer rival but an unformed girl in need of older-girl love and guidance is seriously messed up. Two or three years apart? Then I can see the bickering. But nine? I'm sitting here thinking: "What the HELL is wrong with Wild?"

Unfortunately, I think the answer is: "A lot."

Grundir the Implacable said...

It took about 800 years for all of us Nazgul to learn to get along with each other. Although the Witch-king of Angmar is still kind of a dick.

Wendy said...

I think two females in a household is one too many. I have brothers and didn't really fight, but that's probably more because our mom and stepdad(s) did so much. Maybe you and hubby need to fight and they could band together, agreeing how ridiculous all your fighting is.....

Jenn said...

Nell...the little ones sure can find the buttons to push...Unruly knows ALL of Wild's buttons...and a few of mine. Little imps.

Bananas...I know, it brings back a lot of memories for me, too. Now I know exactly how my mom felt, and I just can't figure out why my sister and I fought so much.

Goat roper...yeah. Thanks for that!

Slackermommy...that's what I'm hoping, too. I HATED my sister all through high school...now we are close. I think about all those wasted "hate" years and wish we could have been closer then.

Queen of Shake Shake...I locked my sister in a suitcase once and shoved it down the stairs. She made you eat CAT?!

Atypical Cali Girl...I think sisters are just that way, rivals, no matter what age. I don't know about boys, obviously, I have no brothers and no sons, but I've heard its VASTLY different.

Amy and Diane..SHUSH! Playing the clarinet is NOT as dorky as waving a flag around while wearing a skirt!

Sona...marching clarinet players, unite! Can you think of a sillier instrument to play...in marching band? Like anyone EVER heard the clarinets anyway, over the trumpets and bass drums.

Ninja...It's pretty typical behavior between sisters, actually, at any age. The problem with Wild is she's a teenager, and her behavior is actually fairly normal, for a teenage girl. The relationship between sisters and brothers are FAR different.

Grundir...I agree...the Witch-king of Angmar is SO hard to get along with. Always wants his way, no matter what.

Wendy...we have THREE females in one household...some days, I feel so sorry for my poor husband. Especially when Wild and I are PMSing at the same time. Argue with my husband? I don't know that I could even fake that!

Lisa said...

Well, they'll probably love each other later on...

My sis and I fought like crazy years ago. Course my parents didn't help as they used to say, "Lisa, you'd better watch out. Your sister is so much prettier than you are. All she has to do is bat her eyes at your boyfriend and she could steal him away from you."

Ninja Of The Mundane said...

I've seen that happen before, where parents actually play the siblings off against one another — consciously or otherwise — by comparing one to the other: "Your brother's more of an athlete"; "Your sister's smarter." In the parents' eyes, someone's always "more" something or "less" something. I wonder if they have any inkling how cruel and destructive this is. Parents can acknowledge the differences between their kids without assigning values of preference or superiority to them.

Jenn, I hope you and your husband don't play this game on any level.

Jenn said...

Lisa...wow, that's awful! What did your parents hope to accomplish by saying things like that? Destroy your self-esteem as well as your relationship with your sister?

Ninja...nope. Never. They are two completely different individuals with completely different strengths and weaknesses and we treat them as such. Besides, who the hell would try to cause a rift between two kids who are nine years apart? That would be insane, cruel and pointless.