Oh, the agony

Last night I tossed and turned, stared at the ceiling, stared at the clock, yelled at the dog for licking his "unmentionables", incessantly (It's clean already! Knock it off!), and endured the worst case of heartburn and acid reflux I've ever had. Ever. I didn't fall asleep until well after 3:30 a.m., and by that time, I was so exhausted I almost couldn't sleep. Of course, I had to be out of bed by 7 a.m. and heading out the door by 8 a.m. I'm exhausted and my stomach still hurts. Guess that's what I get for going low-brow and eating at Ponderosa last night. Bad move. Bad, bad move. I've learned my lesson!

But my eyes feel fabulous! All moist and shiny with nice, clear vision. I got punctal plugs yesterday. Sounds almost perverted, doesn't it? Punctal Plugs. Ha! They are itsy bitsy little silicone plugs that are inserted (crammed) into the tiny "drainage hole" in the corner of the bottom eyelid. The theory is they prevent what tears my eyes do manage to produce from draining away. Thus, I have nice moist, shiny, happy eyes today. It's a miracle! A month ago I knew FOR SURE that my eyes, particularly my left eye, were just going to shrivel up and fall out of my head, that's how dry they were. Keratitis Sicca is the official medical term for what is otherwise known as chronic dry eye sydrome. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, it's quite miserable.

My kids didn't want to talk to me last night. The nerve! Unruly was too busy playing on the merry-go-round with her newfound friends and Wild was just being her typical teenaged self and was too cool to talk to boring old mom.

It's all my sister's fault. My sister, the woman who believes letting them have chocolate cake for breakfast and banana splits for dinner means everything is right in the world. Who doesn't believe in bedtimes or baths or chores. My kids are at a modern-day Pleasure Island (you know, where Pinocchio and all the bad little boys smoked and drank and gambled as much as their little heart's desired. Oh, wait a minute...hmmmmm) and the reality of home is swiftly becoming a foggy memory. I just hope they don't come home with ass ears and tails. I don't know how I'll EVER find new school shoes to fit little cloven hooves!