Wednesday, November 08, 2006

The Highway Game

The drive to work every morning is quite long and often tediously boring. So, I invented a little game I play. It's called "Identify the Mass of Mutilated Flesh." A bit morbid, yes, but quite entertaining and sometimes even I, the master of roadkill identification, am stumped by some lump of hair and entrails, or forced to do a double take.

A recent game tally proceeded as such: 'Coon, 'coon, 'possum, dog, rabbit, hmmm...dunno, skunk, deer, coyote, cow, 'possum, crow...Whoa, wait a minute...COW? Cow? Roadkill cow? On the interstate? Weird. ...deer, skunk, 'coon... I wonder what hit that cow. A cow! Jeez. That had to hurt.

Yet there it was, a big, black lump of prime Angus beef dead on the side of the road. There were bits of car parts and a dislocated bumper not too far from the scene of the crime. Can you imagine tooling on down the interstate and seeing a cow just kind of hanging out on the road? And the impact of hitting 2,000 pounds of hamburger at 70 mph? Oh, that can't have ended nicely. *shudder*

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