Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Has anyone seen my brain?

I have lost my brain. If anyone finds it, could you please kick it back towards my general direction? It doesn't do too well on its own and I'm feeling awfully lonely without it around.

What precipitated this untimely and unfortunate brain loss, you may ask? Maybe it was a moment of insanity, maybe aliens inhabitated my body and thought it would be hysterical if I decided to invite Unruly's entire kindergarten class over to our house for her birthday party this weekend. Yes. The entire class. Approximately 30 five and six year olds. At my house. At one time. I hope those damned aliens are having a good laugh.

My poor, poor brain. It really is lost.

I'm hoping only a few will show up. Hope. Hope. Hope. With my typical luck, the entire danged class will arrive on my doorstep Sunday afternoon, each one a snotty nose, sticky hands and an insanely loud outside voice. And I just know any little boys who show up will pee on my toilet seat. Or miss entirely.

This was not what I intended. I told Unruly she could invite five friends to her party. A nice, cozy little number. Just enough to maintain control and prevent my home from turning into some kind of wild madness better found on Animal Planet. But, lo and behold, school rules dictate invites can't be handed out in class unless everyone gets one. EVERYONE. Okay, that makes sense, don't want to hurt any little feelings, and, being the bad mom I am, I don't know the last names of Unruly's friends, much less their addresses or phone numbers, so my only option was to invite every. single. rugrat.

I hope I live through this. I hope Unruly appreciates what I go through for her happiness.

4 comments:

Kim said...

You see, that is RIDICULOUS. You have to invite the whole class - I mean, who are they to dictate? Is the school going to chip in some cash for the COST of entertaining 30 kids??? This is when the class list works perfectly, with a quiet phone call to a few mums and dads and be done with. I mean, what's the school going to do after the fact? Reprimand you? Bring it on I say.

Harrrumph.

Of course, not of that is going to eradicate the reality of you haveing potentially 30 varmits in your abode on the weekend. GOOD LUCK and have the vodka in the freezer for when they all leave... or perhaps for a quick swig 15 minutes before they all arrive.

Jenn said...

I know, I'm already starting to panic! If I had a roster of all the kids and their phone numbers, I'd just ring them up and invite, but they only kind of roster the school allows to be distributed includes only first names and birthdays, that's it. And that's not helping me at all to try to just invite a few classmates, not when Unruly can barely spell HER last name, much less the last names of all her friends.

Hmm...vodka...good idea. A swig here, a swig there, and all will be more tolerable.

Kim said...

So... how'd it go?

Jenn said...

It went much, much better than I thought it would. Fortunately only 5 kids RSVPd. I think much more than that would have been an absolute mad house. It was already a mad house, but not as bad as I thought.

I did discover though, that two hours is just about the maximum time for six year olds to all play together nicely before feelings start getting hurt.

Thank goodness for my hubby, he is a saint with kids and saved me from complete insanity!