Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Adventures at the Y

Most days I love going to the gym. It's a great way to piss away nearly two hours of my (work) day. There is usually a good crowd of dedicated sweaty people at the gym doing what you do at the gym: Exercising. And I get to listen to my music really loud, which I don't get to do very often at all.

However, there is a particularly irritating subset who seem to believe the gym is also their own personal socializing zone. Talk talk talk. Giggle giggle giggle. Flirt flirt flirt. It's not a gym to them, it's a glorified chat room. They are usually quite young, and, judging from their tiny hineys, they probably really don't NEED to go to the gym. They just do. Probably so they can make fat, middle-aged moms like me even more self-conscious about the not-quite tight butt, cellulite thighs and jiggly underarms. Thanks girls! Appreciate it. Really.

What really irks me, what REALLY gets me fuming, is when they decide they are going to get on machines next to each other, and just stand there. Or sit there, depending on the machine, and proceed to talk as if no one else exists. Hello? People trying to lose the flab here, girls. Move along. I don't want to hear your sordid little stories. Well, I do, but not while I'm trying to get a good sweat on. Go get a capucchino or something.

Of course, you can't say anything to them or they glare at you, roll their eyes and go right back to yakking.

Hmmm....a lot like talking to Wild! JOY!

What else irritates me? Let me count the ways:
• The woman who never wears panties. She rides the stationary bike WITHOUT PANTIES people. Gross. How do I know this? Because we arrive at the same time and I see her change in the locker room.
• The dude who grunts like a pig when he lifts weights. And sometimes, when the weight is particularly taxing, he farts and grunts. Pleasant.
• The hair tribble that has been caught in the shower drain for about a month now. I think it's breeding.
• For some reason the showers smelled like pee today. That's just not right. People. Toilets. Use them.
• All the rude weight lifters who refuse to swab up their nasty sweat from benches and handles.
• Does anyone really follow the 30 minute rule for cardio machines? I'm thinking not.
• The little group of women in a yoga class who made me feel so inadequate I won't be going back to that class.

It's a good thing I enjoy working out, or I might never go back.

However, if I had an experience on the treadmill like Casey, I'd go to the gym every. single. day. Maybe twice a day. And find it somewhere in my heart to forgive those really irritating girls who talk to much. And maybe even the guy who farts.


Rebecca said...


Absolutely Bananas said...

the worst part is... I used to BE one of those annoying teenage girls giggling and hogging the machines. Now I'm the sweaty mean woman shouting "MOVE OUT OF MY WAY!" you've come a long way baby...

Wendy said...

hair tribble -- are you a secret trekkie?!

I love the gym, the child care, my ear buds and ipod that my spouse gave me that I thought I didn't need. I was wrong! Now I just need some to download music I might like....

Jenn said...

Wendy...shhhh! You're gonna blow my geek cover! I've been wanting to put more music on my MP3 player for more than two weeks...the time just hasn't happened. *Sigh*

Jenny...we should go to the gym together and show those young'uns a thing or two! Teach them to mess with the mean women who are trying to get their sweat on.

moosh in indy. said...

Nah, it has happened since a few times (including yoga, don't count it out yet!) and I'm still annoyed by everything you are and then some.

Beth said...

what gym do you go to?

Jenn said...

Beth...oh boy. You're probably the woman who doesn't wear panties on the bike! I've been busted. Dang it.

I go to the downtown Y, in Belleville. Or sometimes in O'Fallon. Mostly Belleville.

Beth said...

oh God no.....I've never worked out in a real gym! But I'm thinking about joining Curves in Highland. I just walk outside and on my treadmill at home for now!

Jenn said...

Whew, thank goodness! I was worried I would have to try to explain how I knew you didn't wear panties! That would have been embarassing.

Have you checked out the Korte Rec Center in Highland? It's very, very nice, and not terribly expensive either.