Monday, July 30, 2007

The boys get ugly

The situation has become desperate. The women are suffering. The boys are ruling the roost and no one is happy. Something has to be done and it has to be done SOON.

I am speaking of the henhouse, our Chateau de Plume. You see, the problem is, it doesn't house just hens. There are two roosters strutting around in there, keeping the girls down. Ripping out their beautifully coifed, shiny feathers in great beakfuls as they force my poor hens into very compromising positions. Both roosters. At the same time. One hen after the other. It's a barnyard menage a' trois of the worst sort.

Recently I discovered the routine hassling of the hens has become extremely violent. One of the roosters grabbed a hen by the feathers on her head and nearly scalped her. It's quite ugly and has become infected. I doctored her last night and as soon as I sat her back down, one of the roosters ran up, grabbed her by the head again to hold her down while the second rooster mounted her. I kicked those foul fowl out of the henhouse last night and made a little wish in hopes that the 'coons were out patrolling.

Unfortunately it seems the 'coons weren't hungry.

Enough is enough. Hubby comes home tonight and I have a task for him. I even dug out the axe and whetstone.

In the meantime, I'm doing some research. This is where I start singing..."chicken tonight. Chicken tonight. We're gonna have some chicken tonight."


Rebecca said...

Are there rape hotlines and social services for hens!?

Jenn said...

I was hoping the 'coons would serve as social service counselors for those roosters. Failing the law of nature, I'm going to take this abuse issue into my own hands. And the frying pan.

nell said...

I had no idea that roosters were into gang rape like that. Yikes! Good thing you and your frying pan are at the ready.

moosh in indy. said...

Wooooow, can't say I have those kinds of issues round these parts, a hooker here and there, but nothing like that.

Lisa said...

Yes, as you were describing the male debauchery, I was singing that slogan, "I feel like chicken tonight. Like chicken tonight." Eat 'em up. :-)

OneFullHouse said...

I hope I never piss you know how to make 'em pay!

Dorky Dad said...

So you're going to kill the old red rooster when he comes? Is that it? Are there mountains nearby? Is hubby comin' 'round them?

Jenn said...

Roosters, depending on the breed, can be quite aggressive. And if they are mean to the hens, they'll only be more aggressive to people. The last thing I need is a rooster spur or beak in one of the girls' eye!

Yup, going to to kill the old red rooster...actually two of them, and then eat 'em up. With mashed potatoes and gravy and broccoli. (No mountains, not a one!)

Or maybe I'll turn 'em into chicken pot pie.