Tuesday, July 24, 2007

A mommy blogger, hurting

I am crying.

A mommy blogger, RachD, lost her daughter in a drowning accident last week. The funeral was Monday, with everyone arriving in party clothes and feather boas, butterflies and sunflowers to celebrate Hannah's life, not mourn her death.

I can't even begin to imagine having to make funeral arrangements for one of my girls. I know it happens, but it happens to other people, right? Right? Not to me. Because I wouldn't be able to get through it.

My heart would fall right out and I really don't know if I'd be able to get out of bed. Ever. again. I break a little bit inside when Unruly cries because of a knee scrape or smashed finger. My heart aches when Wild is going through tough times and I can't fix it. I don't think I'd be able to live through losing one of them. I don't even want to think about it. I don't want to think about my heart being ripped out, my soul torn and shredded.

But I do. I think a lot of parents do, because its who we are. We worry. We obsess over the little things, the what ifs, the things we can't change, the dangers we know are out there in the big scary world. We stand ready to protect our babies at any cost, but we also know we can't protect them from everything. As much as I want to lock both my girls in a protected, safe space, I know I can't. I want to, but I can't.

Go give RachD some love...I can't imagine any mommy who needs it more than she does right now.

And hug your own children even more tightly today. And tomorrow. And next week.

I know I will be.


The Wooden Porch said...

I cried so hard when I read her blog. Just seeing those posts at the bottom of Hannah-still alive while her mom was posting. I even went in my room, closed the door and bawled. Then I hugged Belle for so long that she began to think I was playing some sort of game. I think I'm going to step back a little more from the computer and spend time with my children while I have them because you never know.

Jeff said...

So heartbreaking. I can't fathom what a loss like that would be like.

Jenn said...

I cried and cried and cried. It was so hard to read the Hannah's alive posts just the days before and then the posts afterwards. Those awful, horrible things just happen so fast, lives can change irreparably from one second to the next.

It sure does make you determined to live your life a little better, doesn't it? Appreciate every single tiny moment and try to be more patient a lot more often and yell a whole lot less. At least, it did for me.