Friday, October 10, 2008

Who came up with this Toothfairy crap?

Worst. Mom. In. The. World. Right here. Worst. You know that worst feeling. Like if someone stepped on your face right now with dog poo stuck to their shoe it would be quite alright because you DESERVE it.

I forgot to play the Toothfairy Wednesday night. Forgot. Yup. Just like that. My youngest loses a tooth and of course she's SO excited about it. And the Toothfairy rejected her enamel offering. Just failed to show up.

Talk about a dejected little girl. Thursday morning she moped into my bedroom and flopped onto my bed, her sweet little morning-soft face turned down in a cloudy day frown.

"What's wrong, honey?"

"The Toothfairy didn't come get my tooth. I don't think she likes me."

*panic* *quick! THINK! THINK!*

"Umm, where was your tooth?"

"Under my pillow."

"Was it in anything?"

she said cautiously.

"Well, that explains it!" I exclaim.

She looks at me puzzled.

"Don't you see!" I said. "Your tooth is so itty bitty and your pillow so huge she probably just couldn't find it. Why don't you stick it in an envelope and try again tonight, okay?"

She thinks about it for a moment and that explanation makes complete sense to her little 7-year-old brain.


Tooth in envelope. Envelope under pillow Thursday night. Toothfairy on the prowl, determined not to make the same moronic mistake again. Pretty proud of herself for remembering the tooth this time. The Toothfairy digs into her wallet...

*panic* *panic*

"HONEY!" I holler at my hubby when I realize I have NO CASH! "Do you have any money?"

"Umm. No."

Oh. Crap.

My husband and I tore the house apart looking for change. How pathetic. We even considered borrowing from Unruly's money jar to fulfill her Toothfairy dreams. We are awful parents.

I found a half dollar piece under a layer of dust in our bedroom. He scrounged up a few quarters from the floor of his car. I found two more quarters hiding in my purse. We were saved!

A much, much happier toothless child woke up this morning jangling her $1.50 in scrounged up change in a little manila envelope.

"Mom! The Toothfairy CAME!! She remembered me!"



Krista said...

Oh oh! Another thing I have to worry about in the future... good thing you had loose change floating around!
PS. I gave you an award the other day if you want to see it.

A. di :) said...

an envelope? you don't have a toothfairy pillow??

Anonymous said...

And this is why I refused to do this to my child. Sorry, but I don't believe in telling these kinds of lies to our kids. No tooth fairy, easter bunny, and no - no Santa in our house.

Never made a bit of difference in our home.

Anonymous said...

I never got more than a quarter. Times have changed....

- Owl.

Jenn said... just gets better and better. Wait until you forget to send snacks to school or sign a vital permission slip. Thank you for the award!

a.di...I don't. Sad, eh? Amy and I had one, and I know Amy made one for, I just never made one. I guess I should.

Anon...There is a big difference between a lie and a little bit of fun fantasy. Santa, the Tooth Fairy, are part of the fantasy of childhood, not lies, in my opinion. They grow up far too fast and have to deal with the ugly realities of the real world far too soon to not let them have a little fun while they can. But, I don't judge families who choose not to indulge in the fantasy, that is their choice and I have no right to decide whether that choice is right or wrong. It's obviously the right choice for YOUR family, but not the right choice for ours.

Owl...inflation strikes again. Good to see you! What blog/journal are you hiding out at these days?