Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Manger comme un porc

My body is rebelling, most voraciously. I have turned into the human garbage disposal, eating everything in sight because my appetite is absolutely insatiable. I'm not quite sure why, because I'm not really hungry when I start eating, I'm just eating because it tastes good. I sit on the couch after the kiddos are in bed, the dishes done, Unruly's lunch made, laundry folded, and just crave. I crave ice cream, popcorn, a hotdog, a chunk of cheddar, some cereal, a handful of pretzels, a Snickers bar, a spoonful of peanut butter, a pickle, a strawberry, a hunk of watermelon, and on it goes, yet nothing seems to quite satisfy. I'm full, but I'm still hungry. How the hell does that work? This is doing NOTHING for the figure, nothing but making it bigger, that is. Perhaps it's this oral fixation thing. I need to have my mouth doing something, which is one of the reasons I started smoking, an indescribable need to have something in my mouth. oh, that sounds a bit pervy, doesn't it? But I quit smoking, almost a year ago, and this neverending eating thing just started a couple of weeks ago. I don't get it. You'd think if it was truly a need for an oral fix, I would have gone through this while I was in the process of quitting smoking, not nearly a year later. Gah! Suckage. I may just have to start smoking again before I turn into a great Beluga whale and can't fit into my underwear anymore. That's the worst thing about putting on a few pounds: panties that pinch in the most uncomfortable manner and force themselves into an irritating bunch all wedged up in my butt crack. Nice.

Maybe I'm lacking potassium or something in my diet. Oh, I could have a banana split! Damn.

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