SpongeJenn

Ever have those mornings when you wake up and feel like someone had spent the night forcing fluid into your body via multiple IVs? I feel like someone emptied a freakin' swimming pool into my veins and every cell sponged that water right up. It's a nasty, awful, cranky, uncomfortable feeling. My attitude towards the rest of the world today is one of pure disdain and I'm really wishing I could have just stayed in bed and had a nice little pity party with myself and a box of Godiva chocolates. You think I want to come to work feeling like an overstuffed sausage? Not exactly my idea of a good time. I want a cup of tea, but I'm afraid to put any more liquid into my body. What if one cup of honey-sweeted Darjeering makes my skin reach that point of no return and I spring a leak?

This is one of those days I hate being a woman. I would trade in this bloating and crabby mood for a penis and pattern baldness if it meant I'd never feel like a beached, bloated whale again.