Friday, November 23, 2007

A decade of deception

My husband has been keeping a secret from me for 10 years.

He has slyly disguised the fact that the man...he can cook. Boy, can he cook! When I first met him he tricked me into believing he could burn boiling water. He and Wild had been living on nothing but Hamburger Helper and mac-and-cheese for years.

I believed him. I felt pity for them for having only Hamburger or Tuna Helper gracing their plates, night after night. I took it upon myself to create balanced, nutrious, homemade meals every night. No more boxed meals. No more powdered ingredients. Each evening I slaved to prepare delicious meals with only fresh, wholesome ingredients.

I have been bamboozled. I feel used. Turns out he can make cheesecakes like no one's business. I'm not could sell these things to a gourmet restaurant and no one would know they were made by a man who claimed to only be able to burn water.

I caved for Thanksgiving dinner and made a turkey. Hey, when the kids beg for turkey, momma listens. I baked a small one, but it was a turkey nonetheless. With the fixins. And he agreed to make dessert. I was honestly prepared to gag his creation down and heap praise upon him if necessary just to reward his effort.

Turns out, it wasn't necessary to gag it down. And the praise, it was all real and exceedingly gushing. He made a pumpkin cheesecake and a chocolate cheesecake. Oh. My. God. Heaven on my fork. The chocolate? Orgasmic. The pumpkin? Perfectly creamy and rich.

The man isn't going to be able to use the "I can't cook," excuse any more. If he can make cheesecake, he can certainly make dinner from time to time.


slackermommy said...

I'm so jealous!

goat roper said...


Carla said...

I thought I was an ok cook until I met my husband. He is awesome...unfortunately I am an awesome eater. I always remind him that me married a younger skinner woman.

Sona said...

Well better late than never - hope to hear more of his wizardry.

MP said...

Are you sure he didn't go to the Cheesecake Factory :-)

My husband makes THE BEST GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH EVER!!! I wouldn't say it if it wasn't better than mine. I don't know what he does..But YUMMM.. Men ARE good for more than 1 or 2 things. :-)

Marriage-101 said...

He made the rookie mistake of showing his cooking skills. Now he'll never be able to get out of cooking with the "I can't cook" excuse. His secret is out. He is doomed.

Lisa said...

Ohhhh. Would you be willing to rent your hubby out? We've got some holiday parties coming up and I suck at baking. :-)

Lucky you. Gosh those cheesecakes sound amazing.

Joeprah said...

Us men are skilled in the ways of the kitchen. I too love to cook and enjoy baking as well. I enjoy anything that is bad for you and smells really good. Sounds like some awesome desserts!